What the Actual Fuck?

…or, if you like… “It’s not me, it’s you.”

Alright, my loves, Here is the weird one for this week (hopefully!)

So, as we talked about in a previous episode, a new girl (whom I am not even going to bother to name, because *spoiler alert* she was a one-date wonder) wrote me Friday afternoon. Things went well right away. She liked me, I liked her… she was cute, she found me cute… all the pieces of the puzzle.

Saturday morning, I drove about a half an hour south of here to go meet her at a (well traveled) nature preserve. She and her husband share a car, so he came to drop her off. I made my way over to introduce myself, and (as was the only polite thing to do) to invite him to join the girl and me for a walk. They both seemed nice. He spoke for her a few times, and that always makes me want to slap men. Still, on the whole, an agreeable guy. I talked them through a post-mortem on a recent failed relationship of his. (Where I go, therapy follows.)

That segment of the morning was probably an hour or so worth of pleasant talk. From there, Mr. Husband departed, and the girl and I went to get a tea at a place she recommended. Tea was lovely, we walked about the strip mall afterward, then proceeded to spend the next couple of hours trying several places to do more walking and talking.

We finally wound up at a large outdoor mall. We took in the shops briefly (she is not a shopper) then decided on a movie. By this point, we are very comfortable, the date is going well, there’s lots of smiling and eyelash batting. We sit down for the movie (“Don Jon”- an excellent social commentary) She does a fair amount of whispering through the movie. I don’t catch much of what she says, but she is still loud enough to catch the unwelcome attention of fellow patrons. I decide to simply let it happen.

That decision marks a profound amount of progress for me. I decided to both stop worrying about not understanding her, and stop worrying about the unwelcome attention. As painfully self-conscious as I am, it really did feel like a revolutionary concept. Setting these worries aside gave me the space to take hold of her hand, snuggle in, and enjoy.

When the movie ended, we sat down at a table in the shade, took each other’s hands, and talked about how well the date was going, and how much we enjoyed the one another. After a bit of this, I asked (as I had at many points throughout the day) if she needed to get home, and she decided it probably was time to wrap it up. At this point, I’d had about seven hours of her time, so I was certainly not complaining.

I walked her to my car, my hand guiding the small of her back. She looked back to tell me that she liked how that felt. I’d become most assuredly smitten by this point. A short car ride, then a long hug goodbye, and some kissing, and goodbye again, and more kissing. I waited to see her make it in the gate, and drove off with my head in the clouds.

On my way home, I began crying over how much the feeling of being with someone was not one I’d had in a very long time. It had been pointless to agonize over such feelings any more than I absolutely had to.

I arrived at home and texted her that I had made it back, thanking her again for a wonderful day. She replied at length, thanking me, and sending me the names of a few things she’d mentioned throughout the date which she thought I might like to watch. This was about seven o’clock. I bid her a good night, and she responded in kind.

The next morning, I found myself doing my usual routine of checking Twitter, Facebook, and the like. (It’s interesting to ponder that “Twitter” will sound like “cassette tape” if I ever go back and read this later in life.) Anyway, in checking my Facebook, I discover she has disappeared from my list of friends. Further investigation suggests that she has blocked me from viewing her.

Not wanting to assume anything is out of place, I sent her a text simply saying “Good morning.” … no reply.

A few hours later, “Is everything okay?”

A few hours still, “If things aren’t okay, will you please extend to me the dignity of saying so?”


What happened? I really can’t say. I had a great group of friends supporting me throughout the day. They seem to think the best guess that the husband got jealous upon hearing about a good date. That’s my working theory too.

This experience was a proving ground for lots of the progress I’ve been making over the last year. I was stronger, smarter, more self-assured, and better supported by the people I have been surrounding myself with.

Today finds me much more secure and content than before any of this happened, and the value of that cannot be overstated!

I hope you’ve enjoyed our trip to The Twilight Zone, my loves!

Please feel free to take up the conversation in the comments 🙂







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