I am not sure what any of this means. Perhaps you would all be so good as to help interpret. Now, for your approval, a simple rundown of the week that was.
I think the first thing to happen following my last post was that I met up with a lady whom I met on a dating website. She and I very quickly arrived at the common ground of needing a cuddle-buddy in our interactions online. I think we were trading phone numbers within the first three or four messages. We met for lunch, and then I brought her back to the apartment, at the last minute accommodation of DW.
She stayed for a number of hours, and things progressed quickly. It was immediately clear that this was not going to be a cuddle-buddy, but more a friend-with-benefits (FWB). But that is often a bad omen with me… the sooner I have sex with someone, the less invested it means I am in the relationship. I often wait weeks or even months with those I have very high aspirations with. I am honestly not sure what I want from this new relationship. The sex was very good, but I do not see any potential for a meaningful romance.
FWB is a very nice person, but I have concerns about her being too flighty… and, frankly too easy. I am not sure I have ever had that feeling before… of someone seeming to be too agreeable to sex. I am VERY agreeable to sex. But, I like to also have lots of information in advance. This seemed to proceed to a sexual place without a plan for that. I really should just shut up and enjoy the fact that I finally had spontaneous sex… but I think the control freak in me won’t let it go that easily.
I saw DC again this week. We have a steady once or twice weekly schedule now. It is clear and explicit that she likes me a great deal. But, I remain convinced of her steadfast belief in me being only a friend, despite how desperately I wish for more. She confounds things with FWB somewhat, because she is the ever-present contrast to the fun and lightweight nature of casual sex. I really long for that intense romantic connection, but I really doubt I will find it reciprocated by DC. Despite her apparent absence of romantic intentions, she really has made my life fuller and richer.
We got to spend time with my dear friend and high school sweetheart over the weekend. She has a four-year-old that had fun playing with babykiddo and stepkiddo. I watched the three of them while she accompanied DW to my awesome find: ‘the rubby place’ which is an affordable massage spa. I went to rubby place with DC last week, and we both agreed it needed to be a regular thing!
This week finds me sick. DW and babykiddo seem to have it too. It’s another of the delights of stepkiddo’s visits: she almost always brings us some illness. Fortunately, it’s not a very violent sickness, but we all seem to want to sleep all day.
Had a lovely chat with Mr. and Mrs. BE a few nights back. They are planning a summer visit. They are readers, so I am always cognizant of how I speak of readers. I do miss them a great deal. …I’m really not sure what to expect from the visit. They are both all 31 flavors of sexy, and flirting with them is tons of fun! I should take a cue from my time with FWB and just pounce on them. (sound of teenage giggling)
What else….. OH!
My oldest friend wants to have lunch. I have literally known her since knowing someone was possible. We lived on the same street growing up, and she is about three weeks my senior. I am excited for that, and have some sense of what to expect, despite the many years since I saw her last. She has been very supportive of me through transition, and has offered many affirmative statements of my apparent gender in very early years.
Off to bed for now… DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS!
Let me know what you think I should do from here… especially if you have a sense of a plan for DC. She continues to be my favorite dilemma.
Also, slave boy to visit in the coming weeks, after having to cancel last weekend. Thoughts on him??
Love you all!