Anyway… so, that was Saturday.
Sunday morning, it all slid rapidly downhill. Wife and I had a long hard talk about how I was feeling less womanly for not having had babies, and how I felt I had been beating myself up about a whole host of things that I felt inadequate about. And, in our usual trying to translate from my way of speaking to hers, I was not feeling understood.
This went on, and I collapsed into a complete weepy mess. I finally was able to put it in terms that seemed to register. I felt as though I carried with me the debt of being less than she. Like Jacob Marley with his chains. Somehow, just saying that was very healing. Also very important in that conversation was that she told me she thought I could have handled pregnancy and childbirth. That meant a lot to me.
Sunday afternoon, I went off to see my awesome friend Strivingforpeace. She and I had a lovely chat. She let me work some tweezer magic for her, and we were off to the Ft Worth version of ‘Poly Dinner.’ This is an evolution of the same Poly Dinner where I first met wife, and many of my other friends.
I was really myself… unrestrained…unapologetic. I was flirty, and fun, and affectionate. Everything I had been so afraid to be in my previous incarnation. It was a wonderful end to what might have otherwise been a really craptastic day.
This week: Thursday date with the BEs…. stay tuned! 🙂
Much love to you all!